FOCUS Fuels Sobriety
I wanted to share my personal journey from dependency on alcohol to sobriety and freedom.
Have you ever made a wrong decision or had something happen out of your control? I think many have at least once. After the realization that your life has changed and not for the best there is a fork in the road. One road says victim and the other road says victor. You have to make a decision to not be a victim from a bad decision or unfortunate event and rise back up—whatever that will take.
I took a trip on the victim road until I made a detour because I realized nobody was going to save me.
I had to rise up, completely love myself and change the course of my own direction.
Other than drinking with friends as a teenager, I never drank much raising my children but started progressively drinking after a painful divorce and unfortunate circumstances that followed which intensified the pain. I went from stable to unstable in a matter of no time from one single decision. My circumstances felt beyond my control. I was in a relationship where I was verbally and emotionally abused and I did not know how to stop it or fix it. I became depressed, broke and started drinking as a way of survival and numbing the pain. I could not see from the dark view of my own eyes but God had a different view on the horizon.
Over the next 10 years I drank more and more going from a glass of wine to a bottle and then more. I was spiraling out of control. I lost myself. I lost my true identity my authentic self. My decision making was poor. Alcohol had gripped me with anxiety. I was waking up feeling shame and regret from drinking the night before and most importantly convicted that alcohol had taken the place of God. Throughout those years I never felt good about drinking in my heart of hearts. I am a believer. I love the Lord and knew that relationship was suffering. I just kept telling myself Debra pray until your miracle happens.
If you don’t define yourself, you allow others to define you and that is dangerous. I will never forget telling myself you better learn to love yourself or you're going to crumble because you really don’t have much love around you at the moment. This is the moment I went from victim to victor. I switched my focus from saving an unloving relationship to saving myself. I found my power. I pushed myself and interviewed with 3 Real Estate firms and made my license active again. I ended up at Better Homes and Gardens Native American Group in Virginia Beach where I threw myself into my work and worked harder than I ever had in my life.
I pulled out of my depression, serious debt, rose to Diamond status in my industry and went from an unsafe old vehicle to a new Lexus.
This is not the end of this story. My drinking was still an issue. Because of those years of drinking just like any other habit I became addicted. Alcohol was in the way of achieving my highest self in my business, personal and spiritual relationships. It still tugged on my heart and mind to quit. God had a better plan for my life that did not involve alcohol. I was ready to receive His plan and God gave me a way of escape.
My turning point came when my daughter Kristina stopped drinking for her own reasons. She was my drinking buddy and she quit! Kristina would come over my house as normal but without alcohol and had a spring in her step. She would smile ear to ear and I thought she is genuinely so happy. The hard lines on her face became soft and her countenance glowed. I wanted that and six weeks later I quit drinking with Kristina and we have not turned back. Having an accountability partner and the support we shared along with our faith is where our strength came. I am one year sober with a twenty-pound loss.
I changed my focus and reinvented myself. Isn’t that exciting? My relationships have supernaturally improved both personally and professionally without force. I have been able to put time into my most important relationship—that with the Lord and I am currently establishing wealth for retirement through different mediums. I learned to empower myself and am in the process of building a coaching business to help empower others whether male or female to your highest calling. I want to share my wisdom and knowledge of how I increased every area of my life with you.
My friend we have given one life to live and it is truly up to you. Joyce Meyer says, “to blame is to remain”.